Breaking Down Read online

  “So we’re doing this?” she asks, “really doing this?”

  “Hold that thought,” I say, and pick her up and move her to the side. In the next second I scoop Buttons off my bed and put her in the soft cat cave I saw online and decided she had to have. “Mummy and Daddy are going to have special cuddles, so you stay here and be a good girl, okay?” I tell the cat. She yawns again, curls up, and goes back to sleep. I dive for the bed and bring Bentley over me again. “There, that’s better. And to answer your question, yeah, darlin’, we’re really doing this,” I say as I lean forward and capture her lips. She sighs as they touch, and it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.

  As the kiss wears on, I pull her tighter to me, so tight it feels like she could almost climb inside me. Eventually we break apart, both of us gasping for air. I trail my lips down her jaw to her neck, where I lick and nip. Her moans increase the longer I run my lips along her skin, her hips moving, searching for friction.

  “Jax,” she moans.

  “Mmm,” I say, against her pulse point.

  “I need you.”

  I pull back and arch an eyebrow. “Oh do you now?” She nods. “Tell me,” I say as I pull her to me, “how bad you want me.”

  “So bad,” she says, breathless.

  “What do you want me to do to you?” I ask as I move down her neck to her collarbone. Her strawberry scent is strong here; it’s making me crazy.

  “I want you to— Oh shit,” she says as I pull down the strap to her tank top. I sweep my hand underneath the material of her bra and cup her breast. “Jax,” she says as I knead her flesh, her nipple hard against my palm.

  “Yes?” I ask.

  “Stop teasing me.”

  I laugh but relent, pulling my hand away. She whines when I do, but that stops when I lift the hem of her shirt and quickly rid her of it. With a flick, her bra is undone, and on the floor a second later, her nipple in my mouth before the garment hits the floor.

  “Ah, fuck!” she cries. Her hips rock faster the harder I suck, and if I’m not careful I’ll be coming in my pants soon. I still her hips and undo the buttons on her jeans, my hand burrowing deep to find her drenched and more than ready for me.

  “Is this for me?” I ask as I circle her clit with my finger.

  “Uh-huh,” she says as she bites her lip and throws her head back.

  “Fuck yeah,” I say as I stand her up and strip her shoes, jeans, and panties off. She hovers over me while I pull my shorts down, my dick popping free so fast I’d laugh if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside her. I whip my shirt over my head and reach into the bedside table to grab a condom. I’m wrapped thirty seconds later, and Bentley is plunging down on me.

  “Oh fuck!” I yell. “You feel so damn good, darlin’.” I hold her hips so she can’t move.

  “Jax,” she whines, “I need you to move, dude.”

  “Dude?” I ask. “I’ll show you ‘dude.’” I begin to pound up into her.

  The sound of our bodies slapping together is echoing in my ears, and I know nothing will ever sound as sweet. I knew it the last time I was inside her, and now it’s confirmation that she was fucking made for me. “That’s it, darlin’,” I say as she tightens around me. I shift her hips slightly, and she cries out.

  “Oh fuck, yes!” she screams, and if my ego weren’t already inflated beyond belief, it would be now. A gush of moisture from her drips down my balls, and I know it won’t be long. I reach between her legs and rub her clit. She cries out again, and a few thrusts later she’s coming hard. Her pussy squeezes me so tight I have no choice but to follow her into ecstasy.

  She collapses on me, but I don’t give a shit. As our breathing begins to return to normal, we hear clapping coming from the living room.

  “What the fuck?” Bentley asks.

  I groan. “I may have deserved that.”

  She pulls back and stares at me, her eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

  “I, um, may have overheard Mav and Aubrey going at it when they came down to visit last year, and did the same thing.”

  “Jax.” She shakes her head.

  “Hey, what was I supposed to do? I was at home, alone, minding my own business, when they come in and start going at it. Side note, Aubrey’s a screamer.” Bentley smacks me on my chest, and I grab her and roll us so we’re on our sides. I give her a quick kiss before leaving to take care of the condom. When I return to the bed, Bentley is spread out on it, her body wide open. I stop and look at her, really look at her. When I do, I notice something I hadn’t seen before. Six scars, all various lengths, either side of her pelvis. I hop into bed and remain on my side, my arm propping my head up.

  “What are these?” I ask, running a finger over the puckered skin.

  “One of the reasons I was so afraid,” she says.

  “Can you tell me about them?” I ask.

  She takes a deep breath. “You know how I told you about what my ex did to me?” My fists clench at the reminder, but I nod anyway. “That wasn’t all he did. He also stabbed me. That’s why I couldn’t remember much, because of the blood loss.”

  “Was it bad?” I ask.

  She nods. “But the effects were worse. You see here”—she grabs my hand and places it over one of the marks—“this is where one of my ovaries is, or was.” My eyes fly to hers, and she nods. “He got both of them. They were so badly damaged all the doctors could do was remove them.”

  “So you can’t have kids?” I ask.

  “Not one that would have my DNA, at least,” she says.

  “Oh, darlin’.” I drag her to my chest.

  “I know you’re from a big family, so if this is going to cause problems….”

  “Shh.” I silence her. “You’re perfect.”

  “Yeah?” she asks.

  I nod and kiss the top of her head. “Absolutely.”

  “Thank you,” she says, and kisses the underside of my jaw. Just then, Buttons, her timing perfect, jumps back on the bed. She walks over to us, and circles around for a bit before curling up and falling asleep between us.

  My last thought before I close my eyes is, I have my two girls with me, and life is pretty sweet.

  Chapter 16

  Bentley

  The next two weeks are a whirlwind. A sex-filled, chaotic, but oh-so-good whirlwind. Jax and I are going at it like rabbits. We can hardly keep our hands off each other. We’ve had sex everywhere, it seems. His car, my car, the bonnet of my car. The sauna at the gym, the locker room—both men’s and women’s. My kitchen, the living room, my hallway. The one time that does spring to mind was when he took me on top of my washing machine. While it was going. I think I can still feel the tingling in my toes. We’re together more often than not, and everything is great. Being with Jax is, well, it’s just easy. He’s such a carefree, easy-going person. It may sound sappy, but he’s my best friend.

  We also spend a lot of time with Mav and Aubrey, and Josh, who are great people as well. Mav’s taken to calling me sis, which was all kinds of emotional the first time he did it. Jax calls Aubrey that as well, but I don’t want to read anything into that. Besides, marriage is just not in my cards. Not that I can’t picture spending the rest of my life with Jax, it’s just the idea of marriage. It’s so antiquated. Plus, the whole belonging to someone thing totally rubs me the wrong way. I’m getting ahead of myself though. I’m sure it’s not even on our radar.

  At the moment, Jax is so busy training and working on his comeback that he’s not thinking about too much. He’s moved on from his Extreme Games run and is working on something even more daring, apparently. I’d worry, but he’s a pro and this is what he does, who he is. Accidents are a part of any extreme sport, but hey, I am a nurse and I’m pretty sure Jax would get a kick out of me in a cute outfit. Actually, I know he’d get a kick out of it.

  But all of that is taking a back seat, because tonight, Jax and I are going out on a date. Over the past two weeks we’ve been on a heap, so I don’t even t
hink about them anymore. Jax however, likes to make a big deal out of every single one. It’s cute, and I can’t deny that it gives me the warm and fuzzies. We’re going to a grill place in Broadbeach. As we walk from the car park to the restaurant, Jax has his arm around me, his hand in my back pocket. It’s always the same. It’s slightly possessive, but also has Jax’s cheekiness as well.

  I’m just digging into my burger with a side of the world’s best mac and cheese, when a guy comes over to us. He’s about five five, has the freakiest yellow eyes, a pot belly, and a limp.

  “Jax,” he says, “good to see you again.”

  Jax shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Er, you too.”

  “How the comeback going?”

  “Fine.”

  “Good to hear, good to hear,” the stranger says. He looks over and spots me. “What have we here?” he says to me.

  “Oh, ah, this is my girlfriend, Bentley La Roche. Bentley, this is um, Dean….” Jax trails off.

  Dean offers me his hand. “Dean Toms.”

  I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you,” I say, and try to let his hand go, but he doesn’t return the favour.

  “La Roche, huh?” He arches an eyebrow.

  “Yep,” I say. Of course a slimebag like this would know of my family and what we do. La Roche isn’t that common a last name, so it is easily traceable, but I was hoping I could continue to get away with it for a little bit longer.

  He looks at Jax, then back to me before finally dropping my hand. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Bentley La Roche. Sorry to interrupt your meal, I just wanted to come over and say hello.”

  “Er, thanks,” Jax says, shooting me a quick look. “I appreciate it.”

  “The offer still stands,” Dean tells him, before limping away.

  “What offer?” I ask, once he’s out of earshot.

  “It was nothing,” Jax says.

  “Everything is something,” I counter.

  He shrugs. “He reckons he can take me to the ‘big time.’” He makes air quotes. “He said that what my family is doing is small-time and I’m better than that.”

  “What do you reckon?”

  “I reckon he’s trying to start shit between me and my family. He’s a douche. Just forget about him.”

  I nod and go back to my burger. Ignoring Dean Toms is something I am more than happy to do.

  “So I know we agreed to ignore Dean,” Jax says as we’re getting ready for bed later that night, “but something’s been bothering me.”

  Immediately my defences are up. “Just one thing?” I ask as I hop into bed and rub his rapidly hardening dick.

  “Oh fuck, yes,” he says, his head falling back on the pillows. I smile in triumph. It doesn’t last long. “But yeah,” he says, stilling my hand. “Dean went all weird when I said your last name. Why was that?”

  Fuck. “I thought we were ignoring Dean and all his douchebaggery.”

  “We are, but this has been bugging me. I didn’t want to get into it at dinner, but we’re home now….”

  While it warms me that he considers my place home, I’m also scared shitless about where this conversation is heading. I throw my head back. “Do we really have to talk about this?” I ask.

  “Er, yeah, we do, Bentley. I thought we were over this shit,” Jax says, pulling at his hair.

  “It’s just something I don’t talk about a lot.”

  “But they’re your family.”

  “Not everyone’s family is straight out of The Brady Bunch,” I tell him.

  “You think I don’t know that?” he asks angrily. “Mine isn’t either. Jesus, we’re a bunch of seven men, there’s plenty of shit we never got right. Plenty of stuff we missed out on, too.”

  I shake my head. “You just wouldn’t get it.”

  “So tell me!” he yells. “I’m your fucking boyfriend, for fuck’s sake. If you can’t tell me this, then what else aren’t you telling me?” The look on his face is one of anger, but underneath that is hurt.

  I sigh. “Fine, you want to know about my family?”

  “That’s what I’ve been asking. Why does everyone always question me when I ask to know shit?”

  “My parents are Brian and Maisy La Roche.” There’s no recognition on his face, so I keep going. “They’re, we’re well known in certain circles of Perth society as well as the Australian mining industry.”

  “Okay…,” he says, unsure what I’m getting at.

  “We own a small diamond mine. For some reason, where it is produces a large amount of pink diamonds, which are pretty rare. We’ve even had a red one, which is rarer still. Usually when someone hears the name La Roche they automatically think of diamonds, like Argyle or Harry Winston.”

  “Huh,” Jax says. “So you guys are pretty loaded then.” I shrug, but nod anyway. “I don’t get why that’s so bad,” he says.

  I sigh, and run a hand through the ends of my hair. At the moment it’s pink and purple. “After my attack and everything that went along with that, my parents and I… we grew apart.”

  “That’s understandable,” Jax says. “I mean, you’re over here, they’re over there, it’s a lot of distance. Even Mav and I haven’t been talking to our pop that much since we’ve been up here. I think that’s a normal part of growing up though.”

  “Maybe,” I say, but I don’t believe it for a second.

  “Nah, you don’t believe that,” he says, and I give him a small smile and cuddle up to his side.

  “How did you know that?” I lean up and kiss the underside of his jaw.

  “Because I know you, darlin’.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “So you want to tell me what you think happened between you and your olds?”

  I curl into his side more. “I don’t know, I just felt like afterwards they had a different opinion of me. It’s almost like they were ashamed of me or something.”

  Beneath me, Jax tenses. “Why would they think that?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know that they do, it’s just a vibe I got.”

  “How long’s it been since you’ve seen them?”

  “They stayed with me for a bit after I got out of hospital, but since then we haven’t seen each other.”

  “Hmm,” he says, and hugs me tighter. As I fall asleep, wrapped up in him, I can’t help but think that Jax Ryan is more than enough family for me.

  Chapter 17

  Jax

  I’m not gonna lie, I was pissed about all the shit that went down with Bentley and her family. But after the phone call I just got, I know soon she’ll have more family than she knows what to do with.

  “Hey, dude,” she says when she answers my call.

  “Darlin’,” I reply. Fuck it feels good to be done with all our bullshit messing around.

  “What’s up?” she asks.

  “Are you able to get any time off?”

  “Um probably, why?”

  “My sister-in-law just gave birth to our nephew, and we wanted to go down.”

  “When?” she asks.

  “Mav and Aubrey have their midyear break starting on Friday, so we thought, if you could, we’d leave then.”

  “For how long?”

  “How long can you get off?” I ask.

  “I’m not sure. I’ll ask Lisa and get back to you.”

  “Sounds good, darlin’. I’ll see you at home?” I didn’t mean to start calling her place home, but we’ve been spending so much time there, it just kind of slipped out.

  “Yeah, I’ll see you at home.” She hangs up, and I have the biggest smile on my face.

  “So tell me about your family,” Bentley says as we snuggle on the couch that night.

  “There’s a lot of us,” I warn.

  “If I can handle you, I can handle anything,” she says.

  “Good point. Okay, so we have my grandpa, Jay. We call him Pa.”

  “Pa is Jay, got it,” she says, nodding.

  “My dad, or Nate, is Pop.”

  “Go on.”
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  “My eldest brother is Parker. He has a kid, Christian, who’s six. Holy shit,” I say when I realise how old Chris is.

  “Does Parker have a wife?” Bentley asks.

  I shake my head. “Nah, Chris’s mum, Emma, and Park were dating, but they weren’t ever very serious. They were only together for Chris’s sake.”

  “So where is she now?”

  “She died when Chris was a baby. A drug overdose.”

  “Oh.”

  “So that makes three women who have mothered Ryans who have died young, in case you wanted to keep count.”

  “Wow,” she says.

  “Yeah. Park and Reed have a major thing about it. Well, Reed used to. I think Bria pretty much blew that out of the water for him.”

  “They just had the baby, right?”

  I nod. “Yep. Reed’s the second eldest. He married Bria three years ago, and they have a daughter, Avery, who is our princess, and now a son, Chase.”

  “Cool.”

  “Reed’s the VP of our racing team, and Bria handles all our PR and shit.”

  “So she was the one who had to keep your arse in line?” Bentley asks.

  “Yep, Bria Ryan, aka the fun police.”

  “Aww, poor Jax,” she says mockingly.

  “Life’s no fun when you have to behave.”

  Bentley just snickers. “Who’s after Reed?”

  “Liam.”

  “He’s the racer, right?”

  “A three-time NRS champion, thank you very much.”

  “Is he…?”

  “Gay?” I supply. “Yes, he is. His partner’s name is Mason, and he is one of the finest-looking men to ever grace the planet.” She raises an eyebrow. “Seriously. You’ll see when you meet him. I mean, I love women, but if Mase and Liam were to break up, I’d turn for him.”

  “Oh really?” she asks, a gleam in her eye.

  “Don’t go getting any ideas,” I warn.

  She holds up her hands. “Hey, there are no ideas here,” she says, gesturing to her face.

  “Good.” I give her a quick kiss.

  “Mav’s next, right?” she asks.